tessatechaitea:

Juan Jose Ryp, I am not your fan.

Instead of getting snarky with no pants wearing male demons and doing drugs and cursing like a man quickly using up the final reserves of his Vitamin C, John Constantine is playing Indiana Jones and trying to save the world. He’s running about the world collecting magical antiquities to store in his pet store basement apartment. I think one of the rules of The New 52 was that the title character had to be heroic in some way (not counting comics with rotating leads). So instead of using magic to find a way to clear up his anal warts, John Constantine is using magic to prevent a future mystic apocalypse. Not a specific one! He’s just trying to stop any and all of them from accidentally cropping up. I think that’s the main difference between this comic and Hellblazer. In Hellblazer, John would sacrifice his mother to cure a painful cavity. In Constantine, John would simply go to the dentist and send the bill to mom.

Although I really haven’t lost faith that this comic book can be as bad-assed as Hellblazer was. Lemire made sure that John sacrificed Chaz Chris in the very first issue to let the fans know John was still going to be a douchebag. It’s just John is probably saving his most selfish and horrible acts for matters important to the Many instead of matters important to John. I’m not going to trash this book simply because it doesn’t star demon penises anymore.

Not that I know if Hellblazer ever did. But it should have!

John, dear, that isn’t just magic people. That’s everybody. Everyone reading this commentary thinks they’re smarter than me and I know I’m smarter than they are. Um, wait a second. I think I just called myself stupid.

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